Little bit of a Problem

Okay, so it's confession time again. Time for me to 'fess up about things I'd rather not lay claim to, and to admit to uncomfortable truths.

So here it is, in black and white:
I'm addicted, to boys.

Now I know what you're thinking, sure thing, a lot of nearly-20-people are a bit preoccupied with the opposite sex, it's only natural. But that's just it. It's not me being a bit pre-occupied. I'm addicted to male attention, of pretty much any sort.

You see for the past two weeks I've been crashing on my brothers floor. He lives on the fourth story of a four story apartment block, in a little, slightly run down, 70's style apartment. He lives with his girlfriend. And two other guys.

Plus, it's the "party house" so there's almost always a few extra people around, most of them male.

Most of them single.

So without my even intending it I've been with guys pretty much 24/7 for the past two weeks. Which I haven't been complaining about in the slightest. I've always know that I like male company, and I don't mean that in a purely sexual sense. I just like hanging out with them, kinda being "one of the boys". It's how life was when I was a kid.

Well, when I was a kid I didn't subconsciously asses every guy I see and rate him as to how easily he could get me naked. I didn't think about sex almost every spare minute of the day (which, considering I'm unemployed and homeless, is quite a few minutes), and I didn't flirt anywhere near as much as I do, even as a young teen. When I was younger I didn't try to see how many drinks I could get a guy to buy me, nor did I pretend to get mad at guys just to see their reaction.

Point is, I didn't view guys in quite the same way as I do now.

Plus the fact that I haven't been laid in about a MONTH isn't helping.
(You have no idea how frustrated that little baby is making me)

But now, I'm back at mum and dad's house, for the next five or so days. Where the only "guy" is my dad. Who I have a few...shall we say problems with?
So I'm sitting here at the computer, talking in the background with my mother about Internet scams and the like, all the while wondering how in hell I'm going to cope.

I know I lived here for eighteen years.

I know I wasn't always surrounded by people, even that there was a time I shunned human company in favour of a good book. Which I still do.

But Goddammit I want to at least have the choice!

So, one week.

No alcohol, no drugs. No boys.

No fun.

Guess I'll be spending a lot of time online the next few days. Please post interesting things for me to read!

♥