Coming Home Again

Dew dampens the grass, chilling my bare feet as I exit the car. The cool night air wraps around me; it may be Spring but the rain has kept the temperature down.

Stars pierce the night sky.

I pause despite the cold and stare up at them. Living in the city I don't get this view any more, and I've found that I miss it.

Edge past the wheelbarrow and rain-drum to reach the front stairs, which in turn lead to the small square front veranda. The smell of the house leaks out as soon as I open the door, familiar and reminiscent of my childhood. The feeling, of home and hearth and safety, washes over me.

As ever when I come home I slip into old routines.

Bags dropped in the exact same spot as I'd dropped them in high school.

Hand bag tossed on the over burdened table.

Immediate scavenge through the fridge to see if there's anything tasty.

Now, sitting rugged up at the dinning table, watching idly as the Dog tries to get attention, I see flickers of our past. In my mind's eye a different couch takes up the northern wall of the lounge room, a different TV sits atop the stand. My brother shrinks in size and my mother becomes less gray.

Change and Life and Death and Moving-on and Growing Up and Moving Out and Coming Home Again

Things we don't wanna Feel

Pushing through the haze of alcohol in my head and the press of people I follow the solid shape of his back, trusting him to know where he's going. After all, he's sober.
"I think she went outside." he calls back over his shoulder as he reaches for my hand to drag me down the stairs.
We always manage to misplace people in this club, but by the end of the night we'll have found them, either with someone we know or with a new friend they've made in our absence. 
More often than not I'm the missing one, but tonight my best mate has done the disappearing act.
"I just need to tell her I'm going."
Probably the tenth time I've said that, but if I don't focus I'll forget.
The solid wall of cold air halts me in my tracks as I step outside, making me wrap my arms around myself and swear quietly. Hugging myself thus I look around for my mate.
"So your friend was coming to get you yeah?" Something warm gets draped around my shoulders and I look up to see him slinging his jacket over me.
I smile, "Yeah he should be here soon, so I gotta tell her I'm bailing."
He just nods and again leads the way around the corner to where people usually go to smoke. We spot a mutual friend and head over.
"Hey have you seen Michele?"
Exhaling a cloud he nods and points toward the small alley between the club and the next building. He says something but I'm too drunk to notice, so I just drag my sober friend toward the dark gap.
It takes my eyes a second to adjust, and when they do I wish they hadn't.
It's so weird seeing them like that. I'd never even thought about the two of them in this way together. I guess he'd gotten here to pick me up and had found her first.
She looks up as his mouth moves to her neck and gasps.
I paste on a seedy smile and wiggle my eye brows, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in my gut. Why do I feel so shit? I've seen her hook up plenty of times before.
Graeme wolf whistles next to me, and even to my ears my giggle sounds high strung. It has too sharp an edge.
Refusing to meet his eye as he comes up from her neck I grab Graeme's hand and bail.
We dive back into the noise and heat of the club, recklessly welcoming the distractions of sweaty bodies pressed against us.
Only when we reach the dance floor do I turn and look at him, to see the hurt in his eyes. I'd known he liked her for a while now, any one could see it to be honest, and I guess he'd never seen her with another guy.
But what is surprising is the sympathy in his gaze as he looks at me.
What a way to figure out you have feelings for someone huh? The self-deprecation voice is snide and leering in my head, making me wanna punch it. Even though it's me. 
Warm lips press gently to my mouth, and at first I'm at a loss. But natural responses kick in, and soon his hands are gripping my hips, sliding up under my shirt to my waist as I thread fingers through his curls.
We find a wall and he pushes me against it, kisses deepening until he's stolen my breath.
Panting he pulls back and holds my eye.
Deliberation, for a moment, as we both realize what were on the verge of.
Without a word we walk out of the club, his hand in my back pocket, and go to his car. Without a word we choose to forget and fall off the edge together.

Plucking Petals

As a nineteen year old female, it's a fairly decent bet that I've seen my share of chick flicks. They're fun, Dramas and Rom-Com's alike, so yeah even though I do like my gore and action I still fancy me a chick flick.

Among my favourites is He's just not that into you. Not for any particular reason, it's just entertaining. And as Borders has gone into receivership, and everything is super cheap at the moment, I bought the book as well. It's like a funny ass self help book, and I got it mainly as a joke. Half the stuff in it was either "well duh!" worthy or slightly depressing (I need a boyfriend... or a fuck buddy). But I didn't read it with myself and my relationships in mind.

So it's come as a bit of a surprise that I've started thinking of the advice in relation to actual guys.

Enter the guy. Because I'm paranoid that someone I know will eventually find this I will leave him nameless, and he will simply be The Guy. He lives with my brother (which would actually give his identity away in a heartbeat but oh well fuck it) and completely incidentally he and I have spent quite a bit of time together over the past two weeks. We'd met months ago, but I didn't live with them back then. But now I do. We both keep late hours. We both have a hyperactivity problem, which leads to a lot of Nerf wars. We both talk a lot. So we get along pretty well, actually we get along really well. It's totally platonic and he's never flirted with me at all or anything like that, so I haven't given that side of things much (Much) thought.

Then comes the conversation, where I realise that he thought I was a lesbian. Legitimate reasoning, last he knew I was dating a girl. So after explaining my sexuality (at 7 am I might add) I'm a bit confused when he just laughs and walks out. Then when he leaves for work he pats my head and ruffles my hair. Which he has never done in the whole two weeks that I've been sleeping in his lounge room.

So now I'm noticing changes. He teases me more; when he texts me he uses more emoticons, winking faces in particular. And now, with me back at mum and dads for only two days he's gotten bored while studying and started texting me for no real reason, just to chat.

Weird.

My first assumption is that he's simply gotten used to me being around. But I can't help the tiny little voice in the back left corner of my head saying that maybe he has feelings for me. Usually I kick myself when I read into what a guy is doing. And after reading He's just not that into you even more so. Despite that I can't help it. I'm trying to figure it out without going nuts, and I've fairly well convinced myself that it's nothing. Less than nothing. But the tiny voice refuses to shut up, and it's getting really annoying. Any tips for shutting it up? Because I don't want it to convince me to start liking this guy, because to be honest I like him too much. If that makes sense.

Well if I'd known at the time

For the first time in a long time, today I woke up before my dad. Which means that I have had plenty of time this morning to ponder the things going in circles in my head. And you know what? I think I'd rather be in bed. I've only briefly mentioned on here that I've broken up (in the past 2 months or so) with my boyfriend of 18 months. And I guess that's because it's not a bad thing. I'm glad that I did it, and haven't needed a place to rant. But the more I think about the relationship itself, the more I realise what a mistake it was to spend that much time in it.

Have you ever done something for someone, burned a bridge because it was what was best for someone else, and then had that someone turn out to be... well not exactly who you thought they were?

Nick, my ex, had this friend. Sarah and he always used to get into fights, and usually I'd stay out of it, just keep my head down and let them sort it out. But he didn't like that, he told me that I should stick up for him and defend him. Which I didn't want to do. I mean, if I got into a fight with one of my friends I would NOT want my boyfriend to get in the middle. No matter what, my mate is going to forgive me. Doesn't mean they will forgive Nick (And considering all my mates hated Nick anyway...yeah).

But during one of their fights I finally caved, and started abusing Sarah. Which ultimately shut her up about Nick, but pretty much made her hate me. I didn't care. She was never really my friend, and I don't usually care what people think of me. At the time I'll admit, I felt a bit guilty, because it just felt wrong to be saying those things to her. But as time passed I kind of forgot about it, all that changed was that I didn't see her as much as I did before.

However.
Ah there's always a "however". I finally got sick of Nick's crap, and dumped him. And that got me to thinking about the mistakes I made while I was dating him. Sarah being one of them.

Like I said, she and I weren't friends to begin with. But I never really gave her much of a chance, and in retrospect I know that I always had fun with her. She is bright and bubbly, and yes she has a few issues, everyone does. She's not the sort of person that I could be close with, but she is someone that I could hang with on occasion and enjoy it.

So bridge burned and regrets made. But at least I've learnt from this whole thing, and I'm hoping I don't make the same mistake again. Because if there's anything I really hate, that's realising I made a mistake when it's too late to fix it.

Yeah...

Ah hell, again?

Having just discovered my dads new hiding spot for his Rollie's, and a six pack in the fridge, you would think I was in a better mood than I was when I posted earlier tonight. Wouldn't you?
Well you know what buddy, you would be wrong.
Sitting here, ignoring my parents neurotic puppy and listening to cake, sipping at a partially stolen beer, somehow it has me reminiscing about high school.

Have you ever known someone in high school, who you had a major crush on, but who was your friend?

Yeah, I had about twenty of them, no hyperbole!

And you know what the sucky thing is? I'm still friends with most of them, at least on facebook, and I just realised, that in most of their cases I'd still definitely go there. But they either never knew I liked them, or think it's cute and all in the past.

Which, okay, I wouldn't necessarily date every one of them, but I'd fuck a decent amount of them.

And it's times like these that I'm thankful no one knows about this blog!

Little bit of a Problem

Okay, so it's confession time again. Time for me to 'fess up about things I'd rather not lay claim to, and to admit to uncomfortable truths.

So here it is, in black and white:
I'm addicted, to boys.

Now I know what you're thinking, sure thing, a lot of nearly-20-people are a bit preoccupied with the opposite sex, it's only natural. But that's just it. It's not me being a bit pre-occupied. I'm addicted to male attention, of pretty much any sort.

You see for the past two weeks I've been crashing on my brothers floor. He lives on the fourth story of a four story apartment block, in a little, slightly run down, 70's style apartment. He lives with his girlfriend. And two other guys.

Plus, it's the "party house" so there's almost always a few extra people around, most of them male.

Most of them single.

So without my even intending it I've been with guys pretty much 24/7 for the past two weeks. Which I haven't been complaining about in the slightest. I've always know that I like male company, and I don't mean that in a purely sexual sense. I just like hanging out with them, kinda being "one of the boys". It's how life was when I was a kid.

Well, when I was a kid I didn't subconsciously asses every guy I see and rate him as to how easily he could get me naked. I didn't think about sex almost every spare minute of the day (which, considering I'm unemployed and homeless, is quite a few minutes), and I didn't flirt anywhere near as much as I do, even as a young teen. When I was younger I didn't try to see how many drinks I could get a guy to buy me, nor did I pretend to get mad at guys just to see their reaction.

Point is, I didn't view guys in quite the same way as I do now.

Plus the fact that I haven't been laid in about a MONTH isn't helping.
(You have no idea how frustrated that little baby is making me)

But now, I'm back at mum and dad's house, for the next five or so days. Where the only "guy" is my dad. Who I have a few...shall we say problems with?
So I'm sitting here at the computer, talking in the background with my mother about Internet scams and the like, all the while wondering how in hell I'm going to cope.

I know I lived here for eighteen years.

I know I wasn't always surrounded by people, even that there was a time I shunned human company in favour of a good book. Which I still do.

But Goddammit I want to at least have the choice!

So, one week.

No alcohol, no drugs. No boys.

No fun.

Guess I'll be spending a lot of time online the next few days. Please post interesting things for me to read!

♥

Just like Home

In the tiny village where my parents live there are three streets.
One is the main road, which does a loop along the line of the river, and is the only way in and out of the "town".
Another is the dirt road that goes up Bells Hill, a winding, rutted road only really travelled by the people who live on it.
The third is the road my parents live on.
It has the most houses, and unlike Bells Road it's actually paved. Large double blocks line the street on both sides as it makes its way casually up the hill and down again.
Nothing has really changed, nothing drastic anyway, in all the time I've known this place.
A few extra houses, some new families, that's about it.

But recently one of the farmers has sub-divided one of his paddocks. A new road has been added, which I'm still trying to remember when I think of home. New houses, on small single blocks, are slowly being added to our tiny sleepy little village.
It's an odd feeling, to know that people I've never met will be wandering around my childhood haunts. That this town, where I know every face, will soon be a bit less familiar.
The fact that I'm  moving to Brisbane doesn't really help, because when I get back it will be all the more startling to see the changes.

Life is change I guess, and it doesn't exactly bother me, it's just...odd.

Is it just me?

In my group of friends, the majority of us left over from our misfit group at school, there are only two virgins left. Not all that surprising considering the majority of us are turning 20 this year.
Actually that makes our two friends quite the unicorns for lasting this long!
Both of them have religious reasoning for not wanting to get their mac on, and both are up front and honest about it. But the thing is we have one person, who is kinda unconfirmed.

See, she was out one night with my best friend Anna and I, who are both, uhm, relaxed about the whole thing. I don't remember much about the guy she was dancing with, I was a wee bit drunk and just a little distracted, but story goes that she left with him.
That part's confirmed.
But the rest of her story gets a little iffy.

Because it changes.

At first all she told me was that they went to a church. To which I pissed myself laughing on the walk home and startled a jogger. But then when we spoke to her about it she said that they "Started at a church but it was near a main road so they moved on."
Mkay, fair enough. But we kept asking so she told us they went to a field, like a sports oval. And told us more about the topography of the place than the guy or the act.

After that she told me when we were alone that they were making out at the church and went to go around the back but there was a sensor light, so they left. BUT THEN later when we were at my place she says that there was foreplay at the church. Now I dunno about you guys but I so don't count making out as foreplay! Then she goes on to tell me that they actually "did it" (mind she never says sex or fucked or anything like that, it's always "it") in a childrens playground.

Added to that is the fact that she readily offered this information. After they'd put all their clothes back on, they found out he had lost his phone. So she offered to call it, to try to find it. The guy got all shifty and weird, so she says "Don't worry I'm not doing it to get your number."
And...oh god I feel bad all over just writing this, his response was "Oh thank fucking god!"

Oh thank fucking god.

Whoa.

Even after that she tried to tell us that they "left on good terms" even so far as to get teary eyed when Scoop (Anna's room-mate) and Anna gasped and gave her sympathy. I simply sat on the bed in shock. Literally speechless. "Oh thank fucking god" is NOT, I repeat NOT a good sign! A guy says that and you slap him and walk away, let him find his own fucking phone. Don't laugh it off and tell yourself it doesn't mean anything. We told a guy friend of ours about it and he covered his mouth and said oh shit. So it's not just a female perspective! A guy not wanting you to have his number that badly is so not a good sign, but she refuses to believe it.

What.
The.
Fuck?

So spidey sense is tingling and telling me that my dear little friend probably did not swipe her v-card. Either that or something went horribly wrong and she refuses to tell us.

She thinks that Anna and I are weird for talking about sex and everything we've done, and telling each other (and anyone who asks) pretty much anything. It's the one thing she wont talk about. But seeing as how sex makes up the majority of our discussions (sex and my current lack-there-of, which leads to many a bitch session) she gets a bit left out. Used to be she would joke around about how she was gonna "get her slut on" next time we went out, but these days when the talk turns to sex she gets quieter than a church mouse!

For example the other night, we were out drinking with a large group in our home town. Everyone was home for Easter so we all ended up at the local RSL. Anna, Jake and I started talking about sex. The Girl in Question just starts fiddling with her glass. I mentioned something about fucking outside, but even then she didn't volunteer an opinion.

So right now I'm torn between concern for her and frustation at my curiosity remaining unsatiated. Which sounds mean. But hey, I'm a bitch. I'm moving interstate next week, so there wont be much chance to grill her and find out. Not that grilling works, we tried that drunk on the bus once and she just about broke down. Gah she's so frustrating! You're meant to talk to your friends about this shit!
-deep breath-
Anyway, I'll update when/if I find out more. Which I'm hoping happens sometime this year.

Oh Brother

You may have been my worst enemy when it came to the TV remote, we may have disagreed violently more times than I can count, and yes I may have thrown things at you, including a few knives.

But.

When it gets down to it, if anyone else tried to treat you the way I do, I'd do worse to them than I've ever wanted to do to you. You're always there when I need you most, and you always have great older brother advise, even when I don't want to hear it. You're the only one who really understands our family, and one of two people who can pick up on my moods in a second. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, even though I haven't seen you in ages, just knowing you're there if I need you makes every hard choice easier.

Fact is brother dearest, there are times, lots of times, when I feel as though I could kill you. But there's not a day when I wouldn't kill for you.

Do they just not get it?

It's a Tuesday night, student night at my mate's local bar.
With cheap drinks, a younger crowd than the clubs in the city and it being easy walking distance from the place we're all crashing it's our best bet for a nights fun.
Pre-drinking before we walk up there we chat about mutual friends, occasionally interrupting ourselves to belt out a lyric from whichever song is playing. We don't care that there are other people in the building who may not like our choice of rather loud music, we're young, drunk and having fun.
The talk inevitably turns to sex.

"You gonna hook up?" Scoop nudges my side playfully with her elbow as we walk up hill, eye brows wiggling.

"I only just broke up with Nick." I can't help but laugh.

A few shrugs and shouts to "get my whore on" follow, making me grin. The happy buzzing in my head makes everything good and I'm having fun with my girls.

Security let's us in with a smile, and one of the photographers (who take pictures of the drunken fools to put on facebook, bless them) spots us.
He recognises us from previous times, and comes over for a chat and a few snaps. Gradually we make our way to the dance floor, photographer in tow, and begin to groove.

Not even two songs in and a few of the guys in the bar have joined us, not really making a move but just having fun. Someone gets a jug of beer and even I'm drunk enough to skull a cup of it, laughing at Anna upending half a jug into her mouth. Damn that girl can hold her booze!

The pleasant buzzing keeps up, sometimes stronger sometimes fading, until the floor is full and we're singing loudly along to the tunes.

A pair of hands brush against my waist, and I blow it off thinking it's just someone walking by. But they return a second later and linger. I turn and check if it's someone I know, any number of my friends could be doing it. But the drunken leer isn't one I recognise, so I inch closer to my friends.
He doesn't get the hint and grips my hips, which immediately stop moving.
Firmly I remove his hands, rolling my eyes at my mate across from me as she raises her eyebrows.
Not a moment later and he's trying again, getting in close and grinding up against me.

Without a smile I turn again and shake my head, removing his mitts yet again and mouthing "no!" at him.

But do you think he understood?

Coming to my rescue one of my guy mates grabbed me by the hips and pulled my in close to him. Seeing me kiss Tom on the cheek the dude FINALLY got the message and fucked off, leaving the whole group of us flipping him off and asking what the fuck?

Admittedly he was very drunk, but if a chick pushes you away that many times you have got to get the message...right?

Now, I'd love to say that this was the only time that's happened...but...

Last night at a club, the only one in the City that we really go to because it's free entry. Dancing and laughing at the horrible karaoke singers, and cheering for the good ones, me and some of the same friends are enjoying a night out.
I get annoyed however, when forty-something men get in dancing next to me and my nineteen year old friends, so I'm prone to snapping. Having men old enough to be my father look me up and down with a drunken smirk isn't my idea of a good time.

So much so that by the time some sleazy looking guy grabbed me forcibly by the hips my first reaction was to throw my elbow into his gut.

But, much to my disgust, even having his mates laugh at him wasn't deterrent enough to get him to stop trying to get me to dance with him.

He was okay looking, but some guys just have a certain sleazy look to their faces that makes you want to avoid them.

After another three elbowings and a yelled "FUCK OFF!" I think he got the message...and moved on to my friend.

-insert face palm here-

Knowing her pain I rescued her and we danced together until he disappeared into the depths of the bar, but all the while I was thinking "Seriously, can guys just not take a hint?"

Because it seems to me that some guys, not all but some guys, are even more stupid than I usually think. How can an elbow to the ribs be taken as a positive reaction? How can being pushed away be interpreted as "I want you"?

So to any guys who are reading this who may be guilty of the same thing, take my advice, and just stop. Save a bit of dignity and self respect and don't keep hitting on the angry girl who obviously doesn't want you.

Admittedly I don't hate summer...

"If I had my will, I would live in a ship on the sea and never come nearer to humanity than that!"

- Eleonora Duse 

People, as a general rule, are always shocked at the similarities between my brother and I. At first glance I guess you could say we're polar opposites. I'm blond (dyed), blue eyed and rather pale. He has dark brown hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin. 

He's the outgoing sporty one, while I'm the quiet brooding nerd.

So when I say to people that he has read all the books I have, they go a little slack-jawed. The sporty one reads? The nerdy one plays basketball? WTH!?

Never the less we've always shared everything, including our love of literature.

So I awoke this fine morning to my dear brother pounding on my door. He was in town and wanted to use my library card to get books out.

Now, he lives with mum and dad at the moment, so I don't see why he doesn't just get his own card, instead of harassing me every time he wants a book (Not to mention 3 am phone calls asking what good books I have at home that he hasn't read yet).

Dragging my body out of bed I dressed and walked outside. Oh joy of joys, the heat wave is broken! A fine misty drizzle settled on my messy bed hair and sprinkled on my upturned face. Suddenly I was glad to be up and awake! With the promise of a free breakfast as well, today started pretty well!

Now that I'm laying on my bed room floor, listening to Tom Waits and msn-ing my crazy friend it's occurred to me that the majority of my online friends are from the northern hemisphere. They've been complaining about snow and ice for the past month, while I've melted under the Australian sun.

This occurred to me because I mentioned my glee at the rain to my friend, who is American.

"Urg tell me about it I'm hating on the rain and sleet, bring on summer."

"You're kidding right? Fucking love winter, I can't wait!"

"You're crazy!"

"YOU'RE crazy!"

Clearly she doesn't join me in my celebration.

But she doesn't live where I do.

Admittedly I don't hate summer...I just get tired of the heat waves distorting the air, the constant unclean feeling because you do NOT stop sweating, my inability to sleep when night time is hotter than a pleasant day. Yes some parts of the season are nice, mainly the holidays and the relaxed atmosphere caused by said heat and the fact that no one wants to exert themselves in it. Yes, most people claim that summer is great because you can go to the beach. Well technically guys you can do that in winter, you're just a bunch of sissies and don't want to get chilly.

-end rant-

Anyhow, because I am in an exceptionally good mood I thought I'd post :D

Harry Potter and the Pincers of Hilarity

Original page
Browsing deviantArt while watching the 6th HP movie, found this and pissed myself laughing XD

Justin Beiber is on my TV! GAH!

"I'm your knight-mare in shining armor / bringing horror"
-Wednesday 13

Haven't written anything in a while, and I'm now sitting on the floor watching David Letterman simply because I can't be arsed to get up and change the channel. And, while I'm sitting here, starting to eye off that half empty vodka bottle, I can't help but think about change.

Change, that thing that can be so very versatile. It can spring out at you first thing in the morning, waking you rudely and demanding you put a dressing gown on so you can get in the car and drive to the hospital. It can give you a pleasant jolt in the pit of your stomach when the guy you like smiles shyly and asks you out. And it can sneak up on you, slowly, creeping into your life until you don't realize it's there.

All three of these forms are familiar to me, but the one I hate is the last one.

For example, my best friend. She's the girl who understands my sick humor without having to have it explained. She doesn't wince when I tell a dead baby joke, or suggest we stay out in another city, not even thinking of going home till the sun is well and truly risen. She's the one who will make me laugh even during a crisis, and who will get me the hell outta a place I don't want to be in.

But since the end of high school things have changed. We don't see each other as often as we used to. I got a boyfriend, so I have to share my time with both of them, I can't spend all my time laying in her lounge room watching Skins and eating chocolate. But I still thought that we were as close as ever.

Now I'm not sure.

Tomorrow, four of us were going to go to a water park together. We arranged it last weekend, and she said that she'd come, had nothing else to do since she quit her job. Come this morning however, I give her a ring, and she ignores my first call. Not out of character, so I don't worry about it. But then when she does answer she tells me she isn't going anymore. No definable reason, just that she's staying at another friends house tonight. But the thing that's getting under my skin is the fact that she didn't text me or call me to tell me. She texted Kate, the other girl who is going.

Yes, there's probably a reason, quite possibly a very valid excuse for why she didn't tell me first, but it still hurts. I still think of her as my best mate, but I'm no longer sure she thinks of me the same way.

This on top of the fact that we were going to move in together, and she's bailed on that plan at the last minute, and that she's changed a LOT in this past year...it's making me feel like that bitch Change has crept into my life yet again and taken away the person I always thought would be there.

I suppose I'm just getting nostalgic in my old age (19) but I miss the way things used to be. I love my life, I love my boy friend and my new friends, but I hate that I seem to have drifted away from the old. Anna was the first person I told that I had depression, the first I told that my dad is dying, the first who knew I was bi. I miss our talks and walking 11 kilometres in the middle of the night because we couldn't sleep. Swimming in jeans in the middle of winter and playing make believe in the woods.
I miss how we were always both as immature as each other, and how we always knew what the other was thinking. I miss being a matched set with her.

I hate growing up and growing apart and missing who she used to be.

But I hope that this year might be better than the last, and that we might become closer again. I'm hoping that I can keep all the people that I love close.

Life is so...

...fucked up.

I just found out, a guy I went to school with...he died today in a car crash. He was 16.

SIXTEEN.

What the fuck?! That's so messed up! I mean...he was one of the MOST alive people I've ever known, he was so bright and nice and kind and funny. He treated everyone the same, regardless of race and gender and age. He was a great friend to a guy who is practically my little brother...I can't even begin to imagine what his family are going through. I mean, I can't stop crying and we weren't even that close. For such a young guy, who always had a smile and a joke, to die so horribly...the car was torn apart! 

No one deserves that, let alone someone like him.

And even though it's no real consolation, I know that he will be remembered with love, and will be so sorely missed.

Dragon Ball Z, Boxing, Dressing you in Kate's skirts

Sing star and Johnny Cash

Harassing me on the school bus

<3

R.I.P. Chase, I hope that if there is an afterlife it's treating you well!

EDIT:
So, found out today, that the driver was drunk. He was arguing with his daughter, the teenaged girl also in the crash (who's legs got crushed) and he was driving like a lunatic. Chase tried calming him down, and when words didn't work, he took off his seat belt and climbed into the front seat, to try to get through to the guy better, and failing that he could stop the car.
Seeing Chase climbing in, he yelled even more and started swerving. He crashed.
So, Chase died trying to save all of them, including the drunken idiot. Any guesses toward how PISSED OFF I am?